Steaks for Idiots

Greeting to the folks who were fuming over the recent beef ban in Maharashtra… Well as long as it doesn’t affect me in Delhi I only laugh at the poor residents of Mumbai, if living in an open cesspit wasn’t enough… They now have to endure the hell of not having access of a good old-fashioned steak… Life’s not fair but now think of those poor souls living in the Middle East who have to make do without bacon…

Well firstly for the lot who think that a tenderloin is the best steak money can buy, are probably the lot who have only had a tenderloin and believe they can pick up women via the Axe Effect. Let me explain Tenderloin is like steak for Dummies, the starter pack. So the next time someone tells me they are a steak expert / enthusiast and have only had a tenderloin in their lives I might be encouraged to stick and twist my steak knife in a part of your body where it might not be very comfortable. Do you realize how big a cow is? You Fools!!! Saying all steaks are Tenderloins is similar to say every piece of that sorry bird chicken is a wing. So as with all animals let me take you back to food kindergarten and use this diagram to explain different cuts of beef

Here is a small diagram for you education.


My personal preference is a T-Bone which is a real man’s steak. The Tenderloin is for small kids and pansies.

Well 9 out of 10 people who eat steaks (only tenderloins) make the cardinal mistake of eating only well done well what’s the fucking point of having a steak if you cook the flavor out of the meat. In fact the other day a friend of mine asked me he would like his steak well done. So I asked him if he would like anything on the side as well. To which he replied “ Toasted Bread and some Grilled Vegetables”. So me being me burnt his toast charred black and gave him some burnt vegetables. Which prompted him to ask why is the food burnt to which by now you lot understand my reply would have been. Yes but if you like your meat overcook why not yer bread and veggies… That’s what a well done steak tastes like to me.

Well to me a steak is perfectly done Medium Rare, crispy on the outside and red on the inside. The perfect way to enjoy a great steak in my opinion…

medium rare

P.S. This is what Medium Rare looks like normally so dont let restaurants fool you that what ever the cooking time the steak if medium rate or well done when it looks the same.

Btw a recent study suggest that you might be in the naughty box health wise if you like your steak well done… So if ya all wanna die which for me you should if you like your steak well done here is a short summary of the article

“Eating charred, well-done meat on a regular basis may increase your risk of pancreatic cancer by up to 60%”

If you don’t believe me check out the link below…


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